The Emotional Rollercoaster of Under Water

These are the timeline on how the painting started, from the first sketch until the very last one. Grab the painting here: https://www.chaosinpaint.shop/product-page/under-water-canvas ❦

My name is Under Water. I was born on October 12, 2023, in Jeddah, in Majd's Bedroom.

I had plans to take place in space, but reality shook me back to Earth.

I am drowning underwater but floating at the same time. If you are wondering how, I am still not quite sure. What I am sure of is that it is very unpleasant.

There is a person in the middle of me being squeezed until bent. Next to the person is an eye with arms, looking scared and maybe even panicked.

The triangle feels very complicated and heavy. It is clear but not really. The lines on it are screaming, "Don't come closer."

I feel like I am carrying a lot of confusion and unclarity. There is a lot of fear peeking all around, but it is scared of fully showing itself. The fear is scared of itself.

A lot of emotions are being contained inside boundaries.

I am sensing some sadness too, but it's ashamed to be present.

At this moment, I am very vulnerable, but I would like to hide because it is very heavy and is taking over my being.

~ UW

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Hi there! Majd speaking. 💛

Allow me to give you some insights into how my mind was thinking during this piece. I was feeling lots of things; it kept dilating between anger, sadness, and tiredness. I had to redirect my energy somewhere, so I used this painting as my punching bag, throwing all I had towards it.

Once I started, it was very difficult for me to stop. There was this force that was controlling me to get all my feelings out because I felt suffocated, and there was not enough room for anything else.

The whole process felt very fast, as if I had a deadline when, in reality, I didn't. Everything around me was blurry except for the canvas. I was super focused on finishing it.

When I finished it, I could not stand the sight of it. It pained me so much that I couldn't see it. Every time I passed by it, I had to cover my eyes. I am not even kidding or exaggerating.

Aside from that, I felt free once I was finished. I felt more energized. A weight lifted off my shoulders.